Jeopardy: Gundam Wing Style
by Silver Moonbeam
Summary: Three quirky contestants, host Treize Khushrenada, and the Gundam pilots backstage. Result: absolute insanity


Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing (duh!). If I did, I'd be a very rich and happy teenager who'd be counting her money and cheering right now instead of writing this fanfic. Note to self: ask mom and dad to buy Gundam Wing for Christmas. (That's a joke. You're supposed to laugh. *Silence* *Crickets chirping*) Fine don't laugh at my pathetic attempt to make a joke! Anyway, since I don't own Gundam Wing, don't bother suing. It's a complete waste of time and money and you'd get zilch, nada, zip for it 'cause I don't have anything so, HA, and also HA!  
  
Jeopardy: Gundam Wing Style  
  
By Silver_moonbeam  
  
Regular: on stage  
  
Italics: backstage  
  
Bold: Character who is talking or doing something  
  
"Blah, blah, blah " (regular or Italics): Whatever they're saying.  
  
' Blah, blah, blah' (only in regular font): Whatever they're thinking  
  
The opening announcements, "This is Jeopardy," yada, yada, yada.  
  
Announcer guy: "and your host, Treize Kushrenada!"  
  
*Applause*  
  
Treize: *walks out to the little podium thing*  
  
Duo: "Boo!"  
  
Wufei: "I can't believe that weakling is the host!"  
  
Quatre: "Wufei, be quiet. It's not very polite to interrupt someone."  
  
Wufei: "Hmph."  
  
Announcer guy: "And here are today's contestants: Dennis Yang, Sylvia Smith, and Nick Peters."  
  
Treize: "Thank you and welcome to Jeopardy: Gundam Wing Style. Now let's meet our contestants"  
  
Dennis: Hello, I'm from Philadelphia that's 40º N, 75ºW. (A.N. No, that's not the precise absolute location. It's actually the approximate location of Pittsburg, which I needed to know for a history test. So YES, I do have a life! Thank you and continue reading.) I enjoy playing chess and doing math problems. I also carry a calculator around in my pocket."  
  
Duo: "What a nerd!"  
  
Wufei: *snickers* "Weakling."  
  
Treize: *Wakes up from his nap* "Huh? What were you saying? Anyway, very interesting."  
  
Sylvia: "My name is like, Sylvia, I, like, love shopping and I like, totally, enjoy cheerleading and stuff."  
  
Wufei: "What an airhead. And she's also an onna!"  
  
Treize: "Right. Moving on."  
  
Nick: "Hi, um, I'm Nick and um, I, um, I'm a guy."  
  
Heero: *mutters* "Are you sure about that?"  
  
Wufei: "He's a disgrace to the entire male population! He's almost as bad as the nerd!"  
  
Quatre: "Wufei! That wasn't nice! Every person is different!"  
  
Wufei: "Yeah, there are normal people and then there are weird people."  
  
Treize: "Um, right. Anyway let's get started. The first round contains questions concerning the gundam pilots or gundams. Here are the categories: personality…physical description…quotes…gundams…and pasts. Let's start off with Dennis."  
  
Dennis: "Personalities for 200."  
  
Duo: "Hey, anyone want to place any bets?"  
  
Wufei: "Very well, I say the nerd guy will be the victor."  
  
Duo: "Fine, I say the last guy will win."  
  
Wufei: "Fine, but let's make this more interesting. Whoever loses has to paint their gundam pink with orange polka dots."  
  
Quatre: "Pink is a nice color." ^-^ (A.N. yeah I know. Quatre's not a sissy. I just couldn't resist adding that comment though.)  
  
Duo: O.o "No way I'm going to paint Deathscythe pink with orange polka dots!"  
  
Wufei: "Then the bet is off. I didn't think you would chicken out, Maxwell."  
  
Duo: *grumbles* "Fine, the loser paints their gundam then!" 'Reminder to self: buy some paint remover if I lose' "How do I know you won't chicken out if you lose?"  
  
Wufei: "It is weak and dishonorable to do that. How do I know you won't do the same thing?"  
  
Duo: "I might run and hide, but I'll never tell a lie."  
  
Treize: "This pilot seldom talks at all except for when he accepts, completes, or fails a mission, to make death threats, and to occasionally say brief sentences."  
  
Dennis: "Who is Heero."  
  
Heero: "Hey, I talk other than to make death threats! Omae o korosu!"  
  
Wufei and Duo: *Smirks*  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Hi!" ^-^  
  
Gundam Pilots: "Ahhhh, it's the authoress!"  
  
Wufei: "That weakling onnako who puts us in her weak fanfics!"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: *glares* "Remind me to not have mercy on you in my next fanfic." 'If I ever get around to writing another one…'  
  
Wufei: "You call putting me in your weak fanfics with a show hosted by a weak person with even weaker contestants, mercy?!?"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Yes I do, now if I were not to have mercy…" *Snaps fingers* *Wufei appears in a pink frilly childish dress* "Now, apologize." (A.N. Gomen to all you Wufei fans. I really have nothing against him except that he's obsessed with justice and is a chauvinist and maybe those weird (but comfy looking) pants but then again Heero has even weirder ones, however, I need to bash someone or else this wouldn't be a humor fic. And no, I will not bash any other character cause I like them a bit better. No offense to anyone who is a fan of Wufei.)  
  
Wufei: "AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! INJUSTICE!!! I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE TO A WEAK ONNAKO LIKE YOU! HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A WOMAN!"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Simply because I can." *Snaps her fingers again* *A sort of cane looking thing appears in Wufei's hand and he is suddenly surrounded by sheep* "Now will you apologize?"  
  
Sheep: "Baaaa! Baaaaa!"  
  
Wufei: *Grits his teeth and has a furious look* "I…am…sorry…sort of…not really…not at all."  
  
Silver_moonbeam: *towers over him with a big star-looking thing on the edge of her forehead* (You know like in anime when people get really pissed?) "What was that you said!?!"  
  
Wufei: *Squeaks* "Nothing! Sorry!"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Good, that's what I thought." *Snaps fingers* *Frilly dress, cane, and sheep disappear* 'Too bad he apologized. Then I could've added a big bad wolf. Oh well.'  
  
Dennis: "Physical descriptions for 100."  
  
Treize: "This character wears his hair in a braid."  
  
Sylvia: "Um, like what is Wufei?"  
  
Treize: "Incorrect."  
  
Other contestants: "…"  
  
Treize: "The answer is 'who is Duo.'"  
  
Wufei: "Injustice! How dare you say that I wear my hair in a braid! It's a ponytail! Braids are for weak women! That weakling woman shouldn't be allowed to be on this show! None of the other baka contestants knew either! This is the most severe injustice ever!" *whips out his katana* "Justice must be served!"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: *snaps her fingers* *Wufei is tied up onto a pole that magically appears* "I can't have you ruining my fanfic."  
  
Duo: "Cool!"  
  
Wufei: *starts yelling about the injustice of being tied to a pole by a weak onnako *  
  
Silver_moonbeam: *Snaps her fingers again* *Booth appears* "EARPLUGS FOR SALE! GET YOUR EARPLUGS NOW!"  
  
Duo: "How much?"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Only ten dollars."  
  
Duo: "What!?!?! That's a rip-off!!!"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "I never said they were cheap did I?"  
  
Duo: "You said they were for sale!"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Oh, well, they were supposed to be twenty dollars. Take it or leave it."  
  
Heero and Trowa: *hands their money over*  
  
Heero: *mutters* "We should've gotten earplugs before."  
  
Trowa: *nods*  
  
Quatre: *hands over money* "I have lots of money, so I have nothing to worry about."  
  
*Duo looks at his money and then at Wufei ranting. Pained, he slowly hands over his money*  
  
Duo: "Normally I wouldn't buy them, but I don't have a choice."  
  
Silver_moonbeam: 'Yay! Now I can get an anime book! Or two or three or four.' ^-^  
  
Gundam pilots (except for Wufei) and Silver_moonbeam: *puts on earplugs*  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "And you say I'm not useful."  
  
Heero, Trowa, Quatre, and Duo: "Huh?"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "I SAID, AND YOU SAY I'M NOT USEFUL!"  
  
Heero, Trowa, Quatre, and Duo: "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Never mind."  
  
Heero, Trowa, Quatre, and Duo: "What?"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: *sighs*  
  
Dennis: "Pasts for 400"  
  
Treize: "This person was taken in and trained under an assassin when he was young."  
  
Nick: "Who is Heero."  
  
Duo: *elbows Heero in the ribs* "Yeah, that's why he's so uptight."  
  
Heero: *glares at Duo* (A.N. By now they have all removed their earplugs 'cause Wufei finally calmed down.)  
  
Duo: "Hey, man, chill! Take it easy! It's only a joke. Geez, you really do need to loosen up a bit!"  
  
Heero: "…"  
  
Duo: "As always, no reply." *mutters* "I might as well be talking to wall for cryin' out loud."  
  
Nick: "Quotes for 200"  
  
Treize: "This person said 'He's antisocial, thinks he's Evil Kun-evil and hardly speaks! Why did I bother to even rescue this guy?'"  
  
Nick: "Who is Duo?"  
  
Wufei: "Why do you say such stupid quotes Maxwell?"  
  
Duo: "What are you talking about? My quotes are perfectly normal!"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Yeah!"  
  
Nick: "Quotes for 500"  
  
Treize: "This person said 'People can't live without hope.'"  
  
Dennis: "Who is Quatre?"  
  
Treize: "Actually, that is not correct."  
  
Sylvia: "Who is Heero?"  
  
Duo: "I can't believe you'd say something like that!" (A.N. I do like this quote even though it's a lil bit different then what Heero usually says since it's a lil bit more optimistic or at least as optimistic as whatever Heero says can get, but it does prove that Heero's not stupid, though we all know that. Unless of course some people think he's stupid for liking Relena, and yes he does like her (read or look at blind target), but that's just their opinion.)  
  
Wufei: "Can I buy some earplugs?"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Sure, twenty bucks." (Inflation ^-^)  
  
Wufei: *hands over money*  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Thank you!" ^-^  
  
Treize: "Hosts aren't supposed to ask this, but how did you know it was Heero?"  
  
Sylvia; "I guessed."  
  
Everyone (backstage, on stage, and in audience) except Sylvia: *sweatdrops and falls over* *THUD*  
  
Nick: "Quotes for 400"  
  
Treize: "This person said 'I will correct the mistakes brought on by your weakness.'"  
  
Nick: "Who is Wufei?"  
  
Treize: "I'm sorry but that is incorrect."  
  
Silver_moonbeam: Why does every host say that? They're not actually sorry. If no one ever got an answer wrong then the game wouldn't be exciting. So they're not sorry! *Mutters* Hypocrites.  
  
Contestants: "…"  
  
Treize: "The correct answer is 'who is Trowa.'"  
  
Duo: "He does have a point. That is the type of thing Wufei would say."  
  
Trowa: "Actually—"  
  
Duo: "He speaks! Everyone shut up!"  
  
Everyone: *stops talking and looks at Trowa*  
  
Trowa: *looks around at all the people looking at him and immediately closes his mouth and refuses to say another word*  
  
Wufei: "What are you talking about Maxwell? Is this some kind of joke for your entertainment?"  
  
Duo: "But—but—I swear he said something a moment ago."  
  
Wufei: "Sure." 'Maxwell and his stupid pranks.'  
  
Duo: *pouts*  
  
Silver_moonbeam: *After everyone has lost interest goes up to Trowa* "What were you going to say?"  
  
Trowa: "Well what I was going to say before everyone started looking at me was that I don't write the script so it's not my fault what is quoted."  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Oh. Okay." *Walks back to the other side of the room*  
  
Nick: "Gundams for 200."  
  
Treize: "This gundam is the slowest of the gundams and always seems to run out of bullets."  
  
Dennis: "What is Heavyarms."  
  
Duo: "You know, he does have a point. You always do manage to run out of bullets."  
  
Trowa: *shrugs*  
  
Heero: "That's because he doesn't aim."  
  
Wufei: "Now some people actually aim and manage to do the same thing."  
  
Duo: "Who are you talking about? Quatre?"  
  
Quatre: "Hey! I don't run out of bullets!" 'Heh. Usually.'  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Everyone shut up!"  
  
Gundam pilots: *Shuts up*  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Thank you." 'Finally, some peace and quiet.'  
  
Dennis: "Physical descriptions for 200."  
  
Treize: "This gundam pilot has long bangs to one side."  
  
Dennis: "Who is Trowa."  
  
Duo: *picks up stone and throws it at Trowa's head* *stone hits Trowa's hair and shatters* "Geez, that's some indestructible hair!"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: *picks up pieces of shattered rock* O.O "Whoa."  
  
Dennis: "Gundams for 100."  
  
Treize: "This gundam is famous for its amazing stealth, speed, and its thermal bladed scythe."  
  
Nick: "What is Deathscythe. Gundams for 400."  
  
Treize: "This gundam was built by Quatre and has average speed and power."  
  
Dennis: "What is Sandrock. Pasts for 300."  
  
Treize: "This gundam pilot was married at the age of fourteen."  
  
Nick: "Who was Wufei."  
  
Duo: "You? Married?!? Give me a break."  
  
Wufei: "Quiet, Maxwell!"  
  
Duo: "Fine, but with the attitude you got, I really doubt that you would be able to get a girlfriend, let along a wife!"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Hehe. Duo's got a very good point."  
  
Wufei: "Well it certainly wasn't my idea."  
  
Duo: "I'll bet. Don't deny that you actually don't think badly of woman. Oh, wait, I mean onnas."  
  
Wufei: *frowns* "It wasn't my idea, I said."  
  
Duo: "Sure…I bet you were just dying to get married, huh? You must've had a ring and—ugh!" *holds his stomach*  
  
Wufei: "You don't know when to keep your mouth shut Maxwell."  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "That's true." ^-^  
  
Duo: *moans*  
  
Nick: "Personality for 400."  
  
Treize: "This character has a strong sense of justice and integrity."  
  
Dennis: "Who is Wufei."  
  
Wufei: "Injustice! I can't find my car keys!"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: *has Wufei's car keys in her pocket* 'Injustice is right, but I certainly don't care much about justice where Wufei's concerned.'  
  
Dennis: "Pasts for 500."  
  
Treize: "This character has a sister and worked for a mercenary group when he was younger. He met a spy named Middi Une."  
  
Nick: "Who is Trowa."  
  
Duo: "Was this Middi Une cute?"  
  
Trowa: *raises an eyebrow* 'Sometimes, I don't even wanna know…'  
  
Nick: "Personalities for 400."  
  
Treize: "It's a daily double. How much do you want to wager?"  
  
Nick: "300 is fine."  
  
Treize: "This pilot eventually values his life and ends up destroying the piece of the Libra falling down to Earth."  
  
Sylvia: "Who is Zechs?"  
  
Heero: "What! Zechs couldn't blow up a chicken house!"  
  
Zechs: "Hey!"  
  
Duo: "Aren't you supposed to be dead?"  
  
Zechs: "I am? Oh." *disappears*  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Ok…"  
  
Nick: "Who is Heero. Physical description for 300."  
  
Treize: "This Arabian pilot has blond hair and blue eyes."  
  
Dennis: "Who is Quatre."  
  
Duo: "Is it possible for an Arabian to have blond hair, blue eyes?"  
  
Wufei: "Duo no baka! If it wasn't possible, why would Quatre be Arabian and have blond hair, blue eyes?"  
  
Duo: "That's true."  
  
Wufei: "Duh."  
  
Treize: "Time's up. In first place in Nick with $1400, followed by Dennis with $900, and lastly Sylvia with $100."  
  
Duo: "Ha!"  
  
Treize: Now its time for Final Jeopardy, and here's our topic for today *Screen pops up* Justice."  
  
Wufei: "Yes! Finally some justice in this world!"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Oh joy."  
  
Treize: "Decide how much money you will risk. Now a word from our sponsors."  
  
*Commercial break*  
  
"Do you have an obsession with Gundam Wing? Well, now your obsession will be cured. Buy this handy hammer, directly from hammer space! *Scene of someone whacking another person with hammer* if this doesn't cure your obsession, nothing will! Call now, and you'll receive a gun from hammer space!"  
  
Heero: "Hey! That's mine!"  
  
"Call 1-800-URDUMB. That's 1-800-URDUMB. Call today, don't delay!"  
  
Treize: "We're back."  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Did they ever leave?"  
  
Treize: "Here's the answer to today's Final Jeopardy. This woman originally caused Wufei to try to achieve justice and is known by two names, one of which is Meiran."  
  
Duo: "She taught you about justice? No wonder you two got married, you were meant for each other."  
  
Wufei: "Kisama! *Pulls out katana from nowhere* You will pay for that! *Starts chasing Duo around the room"  
  
Duo: "Ahhh!"  
  
Everyone backstage except for Wufei and Duo: *Sweatdrop*  
  
*Typical Jeopardy style music starts playing*  
  
Treize: "Ok, now for your answers. We'll start first with Sylvia. She has wagered $100 and…has put nothing down. She has $0. Next, Dennis…has wagered $900 and has written down Nataku. That is the correct answer. Dennis now has $1800. Lastly…Nick has wagered $400 and has written down Nataku also…he also has $1800!"  
  
Duo: "Noooooooo! I was so close!"  
  
Wufei: "Injustice!"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Did I miss something here?"  
  
Trowa: "They made a bet on who would win."  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Lemme guess, they bet on Nick and Dennis."  
  
Heero: "Mmmhmm and whoever won would have to paint their gundam pink with orange polka dots."  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Oh. Well, they could both paint their gundams…"  
  
Duo and Wufei: *standing in the background* *faces grow huge with pissed off symbol* " NO!"  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Fine! You don't have to yell! Anyway the fic's over, go home now."  
  
Gundam pilots: *Poof!* *Disappear*  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "What a productive fanfic. I earned sixty bucks. Oh and I forgot to send them their good-bye present." *Deathscythe and Altron appear and disappear* "Of course I had to add my special touch. Mwahahahahahahahahaha *pauses* *takes deep breath* ahahahahahaha.  
  
*In whatever world the Gundam pilots disappeared to*  
  
Wufei: "Ahhhh! My beautiful Nataku! It's pink with orange polka dots!!! Hey, these aren't polka dots! They're…"  
  
*Meanwhile*  
  
Duo: "Deathscythe! Noooooooo! You're pink with orange polka dots!!! Hey the orange things aren't polka dots! They're…"  
  
Duo and Wufei: "ORANGE DUCKIES AND BUNNIES! NOOOOOOO!"  
  
*Backstage*  
  
Silver_moonbeam: "Trowa and Heero shouldn't have told me about that dare. Ja ne, mina-san!" *Snaps fingers* *disappears*  
  
A.N. Hello, it's me here. So what did you think? Was it good, bad, or ok? I've just started to write fanfics a couple months ago, but I haven't gotten any feedback! Please C&C, I really don't get a lot of comments from other people except for a few of my friends (thanks!) who read them and give me feedback. I can't improve my writing or my existing fanfics if I don't receive any comments! So please reply. No flames! Tell you what, if you reply, I'll give you a nice shiny penny, ok? Actually, I probably wouldn't, but send me comments anyway. Thanks to those who actually take the time to reply. ^-^ 


End file.
